Tuesday, September 14, 2010
As I was flipping through my channels yesterday I accidentally stumbled upon this movie Lifetime was giving called "The 19th Wife". The movie takes place in a very secluded town in Utah where a group of very orthodox Mormons live, and the story starts off with a murder in the town and the wrongful imprisonment of a wife. I personally loved the movie because at the end the heroine finds the courage to leave, and take her daughter out of that horrible environment (frankly the entire concept of polygamy made me want to throw up, I honestly can understand how you could share your husband willingly with someone else, but anyways...). As I was watching the plot unfold before me there was a repeating theme I saw emerge. Whenever something about their faith was questioned, or debated the only answer any of the members of the sect could give was that " The prophet said it's that way, and the prophet is the voice of God". Look I'm ll for the gift of prophesy, and being used by God, but this was disgusting. These people believed every word that came out of this greedy, twisted, evil man's mouth, they accepted every sentence as the truth no questions asked! All I could do was think to myself how dumb could these people be? He's human for Pete's sake, his fallibleness was encoded in his DNA. Though God can restore you and make you whole, you do not in and of yourself become perfect. These people had such complete and total faith in someone who was only interested in benefiting and glorifying himself, and the last thing that was on his mind was these people's best interests,or God's Word.
The word faith is a funny paradox. When we think of someone's faith we think of what someone believes in, a fact or idea that some one holds to be completely true, but if we look at the definition of this wonderful word we don't quite find exactly what we expect to.The word faith ( as defined by dictionary.com) is a belief that is not based on proof, in other words it's something that you believe to be true, but have no way to completely prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.
These people had faith in a man, and that was their ultimate down fall. They placed their entire world in the palms of a sinner ( we're all sinners, all imperfect, and all unworthy) who really couldn't do much but make things worse. Many times we put our faith in stupid things just as these poor souls did. We become deceived by the promise of perfection, or happiness, or wealth and we turn and run to the things that will let us down time after time. There are so many important decisions in life that a person has to make, each one difficult, each one with the power to alter your life forever. My question for you is where does your faith lie? Where do you run to when you need to make an important decision, where is it that you finally place your trust? Does it lie in an imperfect human(all humans are imperfect by the way, not one of us has the right to even consider the possibility that one day we might be able to get to a level near perfection),in possessions,in your relationships, in your self? While most of those things are great to be around, or even be a part of, none of it will ever lead you in the best direction for you.None of those things loves you enough to deny everything it has to see you be happy.
God is the one thing in this universe that you can always count on. He is the one constant thing that is always there. No matter how messed up you think your life is right now, or how much chaos has infiltrated your soul, He's always there. He's always there to pick up the pieces, He's always there to put you back together, He's always there with a super cool batman ban-aid to put on all your bumps and bruises (He also has the cool neon band-aids too). The point is that HE IS UNFAILING. He's God, He is the very definition of perfection.It only makes sense that you'd put your faith in the one thing you know will never let you down...right?
Posted by Monica at 2:19 PM
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
You know when you have those days where all you want to do is stay in bed and blast your music? It's not because you're tired, or sick you just don't feel well, emotionally, spiritually,and you just want to bury yourself so deep into your sheets that when you finally emerge on the other side, you're in a completely different place, away from you're worries, anxieties, doubts,fears and pretty much anything that will drain the life energy from you. Well that was how I felt this morning. =)
I'm not gonna complain in this post, I thought I might try something new. There are so many things in life that should make us want to cry, poverty, hatred, abandonment, disease, suffering and so many of the other horrors that are out there. While I might not be too happy with the direction in which my life is heading right now, I have no reason to complain, I have a home,cloths, food, friends, family, and my books, I have so much , while others have so little that it should be a crime. Think about all the things we take for granted in our lives; paved roads, cars/transportation,clean water,air conditioning,TV,radio,internet,pets,family, friends,the opportunity to worship freely, so many blessings, yet we still find time in our lives to complain. Why is that? Why is it that we can't just be satisfied with what we have? I'm seriously asking, because I myself don't know. I have so much, yet when one thing doesn't go according to my plans, I lose it. God will only tell you No, if He has something better for you right? well then why am I so bent on wanting what I want? Why am I worrying so much?
God doesn't need my help ( that's for sure), so why do I insist on constantly pointing out what I want? He already knows what I want, but most importantly He knows what I need. While for the time being it might be hard for me to move on, and deal with the situation at hand, my wounds will soon heal, and my heart will be again, that I'm about 85% certain of.=D
My question however is not if I'll be ok, but why do I want my way? Pride, and selfishness I'm sure are reasons, but I'm trying to look at it from a broader spectrum, why do human beings insist on trying to show God how to do His work? In what point in time did some ridiculous human decide they knew more than God? Honestly, our stupidity never ceases to amaze me! ( and I say that with all the Love in the world)If you have any theories, please share, I'd love to understand your take on this matter :)
Posted by Monica at 5:18 PM
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Sometimes in life we have expectations, or rather hopes I should say. No matter how ridiculous it might seem to other people, you are set in your desires, your mind has been made up, and no matter how things might look like you know(hope) that everything will turn out ok in the end. Life however, being the beautiful force that it is, sometimes has plans of it's own. My question is how do you deal with the disappointment? How do you deal with the feeling you have every morning when you wake up that tells you " good job you've made the same mistake for the billionth time!" How do you find strength to stare that person, or situation in the eye every day and live through all the you're going through, how do you pretend that part of your dream hasn't come crumbling down, with you still inside? With God's help I suppose, but I know it won't be an instant thing, everyone will tell you the same thing, just take it one day at a time, it'll get better, but does it really? Or do you just simply become a better actor? Blah, I really don't like life sometimes
Posted by Monica at 3:33 PM
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Have you ever seen the Wizard of Oz? There are five main characters, Dorthy, the Tinman, The Scarecrow, Toto, and the Cowardly Lion. Sitting in My speech class I found my self having a very strong connection with the latter of that list, as we started talking about speech topics the obvious big controversial issue came up. As we discussed them in class I was pretty good about defending my point of view in a biblical and loving way,until we got to the topic of gay marriage. Now I completely understand that is it unbiblical and it's wrong,but when asked who didn't agree with it, my hand stayed by my side and I let the opportunity to defend the Truth pass me by. When I had realized that the reason why my hand hadn't gone up was because I was scared of the reaction I would get from my classmates I started to cry. Not in front of the class of course that would have just made everything worse, but in the ladies room after class. Up to that point I was fairly confident that I had a pretty good grip on my faith,and that when called to I would be able to defend it, but I completely pulled a Peter! I don't know what I'm going to do,I feel like a failure and while I know I'm not expected to be perfect I should at least me able to do this. I'm scared. I don't know what I'll do next time I'm put in this position,I don't even think I can deal with a next time. I'm just venting rght now, I'm typing this on my itouch in the middle of my church's wenesday service (yes I should me paying attention but as you can tell from my story I can't think right today so...) I'm that out of it right now, I guess all I could ask is to be kept in your prayers, I'm pretty sure this won't be my last cowardly lion experience.
Posted by Monica at 5:26 PM